A Monday in January

And then you get stuck 

in life's playground

supposed to be Merry 

but it's just an endless 

go round 

Next thing you know 

it's the third Monday in January

Post holiday celebrations 

this is when it gets scary

Trying to keep my head up

but I feel it loom

Intellectually I know what it is 

yet still I feel doom

Swallowing me up 

I feel consumed

Trying to break the cycle 

trying to break loose

Love and support around me 

I feel it to the hilt

Its the shame - embarrassment 

and the ever powerful guilt

Maybe there's a change ahead of me 

a brand-new tune

Music 

art 

love 

that's how I want to be 

consumed 

On a Monday in January 

they say 

it's the worst

Flowers - condolences and a long 

black hearse

I feel like a monkey 

caged in a zoo

All the people knock on the Glass

just to see what I will do

They think if they provoke me 

they will get a rise

But that's not me - I just run and hide

I miss being manic depressive

All I feel now is lonely and dejected

When the mania came I felt a high 

never knew when it was 

totally by surprise

Dr. says it's a cycle 

that it will break

It motherfucking has to 

don't know how much more 

I can take

It was a Monday in January